Is Rejection the Best Medicine?
This post was originally published on听. It is reposted with permission.
I admit it. I鈥檓 slightly addicted to TikTok. As a marketing and luxury goods translator, it鈥檚 actually a really useful business tool (that鈥檚 my excuse and I鈥檓 sticking to it). I was recently working on a tourism translation for a French hotel, and in that there was a lot of detail about the interiors of their high-end restaurant. With no visual references, it鈥檚 hard to picture what the interiors of the restaurant looked like. So, I decided to have a look on the app to see if there were any videos of it. As luck would have it, someone had served an account of their wonderful dining experience there to me on a plate. Being able to visualise the place was an incredible help 鈥 I then set to task creating some beautiful writing with the end goal of making the reader feel like they were in the room 鈥 immersed in the cosy, comforting, luxurious surroundings.
Of course, it鈥檚 also led to some fantastic time-wasting. But new discoveries as well. Recently I stumbled upon a TikTok account documenting听听self-led journey of rejection therapy. Her aim was to push herself out of her comfort zone by making almost absurd requests (Can I lie down and have a nap on this shop bed? Can I take this rabbit out for a test walk? Can I have a free upgrade?) that will almost certainly get rejected, with the end goal of self-development and desensitising rejection.
I like the idea that rejection can be a good thing. That it builds resilience. That听understanding rejection can help us through our daily lives and work. If we鈥檙e rejected, is it all doom and gloom? And are we better at our jobs if we can bounce back from rejection?
Anyone that says they鈥檝e never been rejected is lying
A rejection could be as simple as a 鈥榥o thanks鈥 to the offer of a cup of tea, or it could be bigger and life-changing, like jobs.
I鈥檝e been rejected more times than I can remember. I went to a job interview once. I was absolutely certain I was going to get it, but I received the rejection message before I鈥檇 even driven home. And I can鈥檛 lie and say that it didn鈥檛 sting, because it did. They must have known immediately that they didn鈥檛 want me. So that was that. But something good came out of it. I got the next job I was interviewed for, and weirdly that set me on the trajectory to where I am now. My first job in the translation industry came from a random encounter with a customer from that shop job, who told me to go and knock on the door of the local translation agency and introduce myself. And I nearly didn鈥檛, because I鈥檇 already sent them an email a year before 鈥 and been rejected.
It鈥檚 normal to not hear back from most of the people you contact
When I started out as a freelance translator, it didn鈥檛 take me long to meet with some success. Yes, I can absolutely attribute some of this success to ability. But here鈥檚 my other secret. In the words of my dad 鈥 鈥淚f you throw enough socks at the wall, some of them will stick鈥.
What he means, of course, is that you鈥檒l probably have to throw a lot of CVs, applications, LinkedIn requests, test translations and introductory messages out into the ether, to probably only hear back from a couple. But that鈥檚 all you need. I鈥檝e found some fantastic clients, but I鈥檝e contacted many more people and been ignored, or rejected.
I鈥檝e rejected lots of translators
I find it hard to say no. Whether that be to people, or work offers. That becomes difficult with people that don鈥檛 want to take no for an answer, because they may end up leading themselves on.
And that鈥檚 where I鈥檓 going to go ahead and say that it鈥檚 ok to hear the word 鈥榥o鈥. It鈥檚 ok to be rejected. It鈥檚 an everyday part of our lives in most circumstances. You wouldn鈥檛 think it was the end of the world if you asked someone if they wanted to grab a bite for lunch, but they told you they鈥檝e already eaten as a terrible rejection, so why should we view it any differently in the world of freelance work?
After working as a translation project manager for over a decade, with a brief spell as a vendor manager, I can tell you that I鈥檝e done A LOT of rejecting. Does it feel good? No. Did I have valid reasons? Yes.
And this has helped me understand things from the other side much better. I cannot count the amount of times I鈥檝e said no to working with someone. I can count the amount of times I鈥檝e said no because of quality issues: once. Once in 10 years. That鈥檚 very little.
But I have said no because I don鈥檛 have work for people. I don鈥檛 want to waste both our times by onboarding them if nothing will come of it. If their services are out of my budget. If they work in language combinations that I don鈥檛 work with. If their specialisms don鈥檛 match what I鈥檓 looking for. If our different time zones are incompatible. If they don鈥檛, or take an unreasonably long time to reply. If they鈥檙e consistently late delivering. If I鈥檓 already working with people with the same language pairs and specialisms鈥.
And then, every once in a while, the exact person I鈥檓 looking for pops up. And I鈥檒l bet you anything I wasn鈥檛 the first person they contacted for work.
Open up the conversation
When I worked in retail, we were told not to just say 鈥淗ello, do you need any help?鈥 to customers when they walked through the doors, because they鈥檙e far more likely to say 鈥榥o鈥 to you. Instead, we went in with an open question: 鈥淲hat is it you鈥檙e looking for today?鈥
They鈥檙e much less likely to ignore an open question (although some did 馃槬). The other benefit is that you can find out what they want and help them find it. This technique really boosted my confidence at the time. Instead of getting immediately shut down, I managed to open up a lot of conversations with people.
And this is a technique that I apply to marketing my services now. By asking questions, and personalising my communications with people, I get a lot more responses. A lot of the time these responses are 鈥渘ot at the moment, thanks though鈥. But is that a bad thing? I don鈥檛 think so. They now know I exist, and they now know that I鈥檓 approachable. And if they think I might be right for them, they might contact me in future.
Keep going
Keep putting yourself out there. Don鈥檛 take the 鈥榥o鈥 to heart. It doesn鈥檛 mean anything except that at that time you鈥檙e not the right person, and that鈥檚 ok. In my experience, pushing for something that isn鈥檛 right for you never ends well.
It can be frustrating when it seems like all you hear is 鈥榥o鈥. But it won鈥檛 work out either if you don鈥檛 put yourself out there, try, and apply. But we鈥檙e all humans, and sometimes we need a bit of sugar to help the medicine go down. When I need to pep myself up, I go into the mental bank of compliments and positive feedback. I should really start keeping a record of that though, I think it would be a great confidence boost.
What can we learn from rejection?
Allow yourself the chance to reflect on (or even ask the person!) why you鈥檝e been rejected, even if you feel dejected. You have the opportunity to assess your services, message and communications.
Are people seeing the real you?
Are you showing off all you can do?
Are people getting the right message from your communication?
So, can rejection be good for you?
I guess it depends how you take it. Understanding that rejection is a normal part of everyday life, especially for freelancers, is very helpful. Don鈥檛 let rejection define you. If you don鈥檛 get that job, it doesn鈥檛 mean that you鈥檙e worth any less. If you鈥檙e not what someone is looking for, that鈥檚 ok. You never know what better things might be around the corner鈥
Has being rejected ever put you on a different path, to better things?
If you want to check out Vivienne Dovi鈥檚 inspiring journey of rejection therapy, check out her TikTok here:听
About the Author
Gillian Morris began working as a freelance French > English translator and project manager after a number of years working for a translation agency. She regularly posts tips and advice to help industry newcomers on and .
It’s okay to contemplate why you were rejected as long as you only think about things you can actually know. One problem inexperienced (and some very experienced) people have is that they overthink why a potential client may have rejected them, and they start filling their knowledge gaps with fantasies, which starts making them paranoid and cynical. You can observe this in translators on social media all the time.
One of the best favors my brother ever did for me was to stop me once when I began trying to psychoanalyze a potential employer’s reason for not hiring me. He said, “You can’t know why they didn’t hire you.” And, in fact, you can’t. Don’t ruminate over what you can’t know.